Jokes of the Week: ... and then the Fight Started

Our friend Elvina shared these little funny episodes with us, and we're now sharing them with you...

they all end "And that's when the fight started!"  Enjoy

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One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

   The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.  When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

   And that's how the fight started.

_____________________________ __

 My wife and I were watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed.

  I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”

 “No,” she answered.

 I then said, “Is that your final answer?”

 She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, “Yes.”

 So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

 And that's when the fight started.

 ______________________________ __

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.  "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.

_____________________________ _

My wife at her high school reunion kept staring at a drunk swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

 I asked her, "Do you know him?"

 "Yes," she sighed, he's my old boyfriend.  He began drinking right after we split up years ago, and hasn't been sober since."

 "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

 And then the fight started.

 _____________________________ __

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 165 in about 2 seconds."

 I bought her a bathroom scale.

 And then the fight started.

 ______________________________

My wife was standing naked, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.”

 I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

That's when the fight began.

 ______________________________ __

I rear-ended a car this morning, the start of a really bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!  He looked up at me and said “I am NOT happy!”

 So I said, “Well, which one ARE you then?”

 That's how the fight started.