Rob's Mom: Part 1: Mom Suffers Massive Stroke

NOTE: I (Rob) wrote this blog as a way to remember the events of the week that surrounded my mom's last week on Earth because the week was such a blur. I think it's important to remember the week's events to ensure there is no regrets or thoughts that anything could've been done differently. All too often, people feel guilt over the passing of a loved one, and there's no need to do that. Our loved ones choose to pass in private often, when no one else is around.

Mom and I visited the Belair Mansion in 2010

- Rob 

Rob's Mom: Part 1: Rob's Mom Suffers Massive Stroke
On Sunday, December 22, not 15 minutes after I (Rob) talked with my mom (who lives 400 miles away), and 2 minutes before my brother Doug talked with her on the phone to tell her he'd be right over to take her to dinner, she had a massive stroke. Doug found her doors unlocked and found her on the floor, unresponsive. He called 911 and she was transported quickly to the local hospital, then after a while transported to Massachusetts General Hospital.
  Doug and his wife were met by my other brother Steve and his wife at the hospital. They called me several times and told me that she was basically non- responsive. The stroke happened on the left side of mom's brain, preventing communications, language and recognition. She would be paralyzed and unable to communicate. She would be on a feeding tube for the rest of her life. It was devastating and sudden.
   Since my dad passed on August 8, 2008, mom has been on the decline. Her dementia has made her quick to anger, bitter, and depressed. She was never happy. We'll never know why the stroke happened when it did. Perhaps she wasn't taking her medication. She did live alone in the house I grew up in, though. She was still able to drive, cut down trees, garden, grocery shop and cook, right up until Sunday.

Mom in a space capsule at the NASA visitor's center

  Monday morning, December 23, my brother Steve and wife Dawn went to mom's room and called me on his cell phone. He put me on speakerphone so I could tell her that Tom and I are here and it's okay to cross over. She needs to be whole again, and my Dad is waiting on the other side. In fact, I got messages from Dad and her parents the night before that they were there to help her. I had talked with our friend Ruthie, a medium, Sunday night, and she got the same messages and said things she would have no idea about. *Telling my mom that it was okay to cross over was one of the hardest heart-wrenching things I've ever experienced, but we have to be unselfish. We need to do what's right for mom.
    Monday afternoon brought the decision to take her off the ventilator. That was a tough decision as it is with anyone. But our mother is feisty, independent and a fighter. She always said she never would go to a nursing home and be helpless. My brothers and sisters-in-law were there when it happened. Steve again dialed me in so I could tell her what was happening and that Tom and I were there with her (via phone). I reiterated that she needs to let go, and be at peace. Our dad is waiting for her with our family dogs, Gigi and Penny. Ruthie confirmed that. 

TOMORROW'S BLOG: Seeing Mom for the last time