Good Person of the Week: In Memory of Our Friend Elvina

In December, we learned that our neighbor and 87 year old friend Elvina passed from kidney failure. Over the years we developed a close friendship with Elvina and she called us for help with many things. Elvina is our good person of the week. Fortunately, I saved a short voicemail message she left, and you'll hear her voice in this blog! 

MET ON DOG WALKS- We met Elvina about 9 years ago or so, while walking the dogs. When we met her, Sprite, Dolly and Franklin were our family, and we hadn't even met Tyler or Dash yet (they came in Dec. 2012 and Aug. 2018).In fact, that's how we met most of our neighbors!

ABOUT ELVINA - Elvina was a dog lover. She had 4 Yorkies (Yorkshire Terriers) that were her world. I will always remember the name "Candy Blue" which she said she doted on. She loved our dogs so much, too.  Elvina put in about 40 years of Federal government service. In her younger days, she was obsessed with tennis and played often. As she got older, she had to have both hips replaced (apparently because she wore them out playing tennis!). She loved watching Tennis on TV, and apparently the QVC shopping channel! :)  

(Photo left: We surprised Elvina with a big cake on her 80th birthday at a Mexican restaurant and invited neighbors and friends. Elvina even wore the Mexican hat!)

FUN DINNERS OUT - One thing we always enjoyed was taking her out to dinner to Mexican food, and she always had a Pina Colada, while Tom got his Margarita. One night, we sat at a restaurant a couple of hours and Tom convinced her to have a jumbo Pina Colada and a small one to match his Margaritas. I swear I had to pour both of them out of the car (I drove). She said, "I can't do that again!" We all laughed about it. 

HEAR ELVINA'S VOICE - Fortunately, I saved a voicemail from Elvina from the summer of 2020, months before she passed. Now I can hear her voice, and you can, too: https://youtu.be/8F6HI4LGfJ8 

CHALLENGING LAST 2 YEARS - After Elvina's second hip replacement, her mobility was greatly affected and she went from walking with canes to a walker, and then could barely move. She wound up falling down with increasing frequency and would call me and Tom to pick her up. The week before she went to the hospital, she fell every day, sometimes several times a day and called us to help. She had other issues she needed help with, too, things that come with getting old.

(Photo above : 2013 Left Front: Elvina, Cristina, Will / Right front: Shelley, Yolie, Tom, Jim )

 In Oct. she went to the hospital. Weeks later she went to a rehab facility where they were trying to address her kidney failure. She finally got into assisted living in early December and passed just 2 days after being there (We've been in constant contact with her niece)

(Photo left :Another Mexican neighborhood dinner -Tom and Elvina are back left) 

GROCERY ADVENTURES - Over the last 2 years we also did her grocery shopping once a week, whenever we went. It was almost comical about how meticulous she was about "having a brand name" and "sweet grapes" and "green bananas." I think Tom and I memorized her grocery lists!! 

(Photo left : Left Front: Heidi, Paul, Ed, Back: Elvina, Susan, Cary)

A PEANUTS CHRISTMAS - Elvina loved the comic strip Peanuts and the Snoopy character by Charles Schultz. Last year, she gave us a table top Christmas tree decorated with Peanuts characters, that we lit in her honor. This year, she gave us a package in October and said "don't open until Christmas." We opened it and found 2 desktop Peanuts calendars! I will think of her every day in 2021 as I turn a page on them. 

(Photo: (me) Rob and Elvina) 

ELVINA STOOD UP FOR US AND FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY IN 2009 - When Maryland had Marriage Equality on the ballot in 2009, Elvina, a pretty staunch Catholic, told the Church they were WRONG about trying to prevent gay couples like me and Tom from the legal protections of marriage. Here's the excerpt from a blog- I was SO moved by her actions:

  I called Elvina, whom we have come to know very well over the past several years.  I felt the need to talk all of this through with her. She is Catholic.  And if you will recall several months ago that the Catholic churches in our area were one of the most vocal organizations leading the charge AGAINST marriage equality, and went so far as to have petition drives to solicit signatures from their parishioners OUT IN FRONT OF THEIR
CHURCH BUILDINGS.  Elvina told her fellow parishioners that she COULD NOT sign the petition because she knows a gay married couple (us).  She told me that some people are just blinded by their religion and don't see people as people, or even as equals. She said that some of her sibilings do not agree with her position that we should have the same legal protections that marriage equality would bring, but she does.  In fact, she got into tiffs with her siblings about it.  And she said that it was all because she has gotten to know us and love us for the people we are

(Photo: Elvina and Yolie at Elvina's 80th birthday dinner party)

 Elvina said everyone deserves to find a loving partner and have the peace and security that legal recognition would bring. She understands and "gets it."  She told me if she didn't know us, she might have listened to some of the people in her church, but she stood up for us, and for other same sex couples in our state, and told the people in her church and family that their position is wrong. SHE DID THAT FOR US. That is a friend. That is a TRUE friend.  STORY: https://rob-tom-dolly-franklin.blogspot.com/2012/08/devastated-by-4-neighbors.html

Here's the Notice from the local newspaper that was published on Dec. 31, 2020