Mom F. in Maine sent us these funny gems, and they made us laugh out loud. Hope they make you laugh, too!
THE WHALE TALE
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher
said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because
even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the
teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was
physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
WHITE HAIR
One
day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at
the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at
her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white,
Mum?'
Her mother
replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry
or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little
girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy,
how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
CLASS PHOTO
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think
how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a
doctor.'
A small voice
at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'
WATCHING
The
children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school
for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun
made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE. God is watching.'
Moving further
along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of
chocolate chip cookies.
A child had
written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples....'
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Who I am
I'm a simple guy who enjoys the simple things in life, especially our dogs. I volunteer for dog rescues, enjoy exercising, blogging, politics, helping friends and neighbors, participating in ghost investigations, coffee, weather, superheroes, comic books, mystery novels, traveling, 70s and 80s music, classic country music,writing books on ghosts and spirits, cooking simply and keeping in shape. You'll find tidbits of all of these things on this blog and more. EMAIL me at Rgutro@gmail.com - Rob