I'm numb. I got a call from my younger brother Doug tonight around 8pm EDT, and he told me that my dad passed away. I'm numb. Doug said that my mom and dad were out shopping at Kohls in Framingham, in western Massachusetts when he had a stroke. My mom was waiting at the car for dad to come back from the store, where he said he had accidentally left his keys. He didn't return, so mom went looking for him after a short while, and found him lying in the grass.
My dad was born Nov. 8, 1928. He was the only child in his family, although there was a boy that was miscarried before my dad was born (I think). Dad grew up in Quincy, MA, and did a stint as a U.S. Military Policeman in the Army during the Korean War. He also played the trumpet in the army and in nightclubs. He led a big band of sorts, we called it "Buddy and the Big Notes" although I now know it was "Buddies." Buddy was his nickname. He and mom married on June 19, 1955. They had three boys, and I was the middle son.
My dad, Edward Joseph Gutro, was 79. I talked with him on Thursday, July 31st, and it was an average day. He told me what he and mom were doing. I told him what Tom and I and the dogs were up to. He was looking forward to convincing my mother to fly down to Maryland to visit us, as my parents haven't been to Maryland for many years.
My dad was the most patient man I've ever known. I learned a lot from my dad. Patience, tolerance, love. At Christmas 2007-2008, when Tom and I and the dogs were up visiting, Mom said something to my Dad, and he raised his hand, waved it, and said "Baaaaah." That was really funny, and now Tom and I do it to each other.
{NEW NOTE: Last fall when Tom and I were visiting mom and dad, we went to Home Depot, and were in the garden shop with them, when Mom bumped into a plant all the way down the aisle from where we were standing. We immediately heard Dad say loudly, "Norma did it!" and we laughed out loud.
Dad loved reading mysteries and espionage books. That's where I got my love for reading. (NEW NOTE: During the wake, I had the entire family sign the last book he was in the middle of reading, Brad Thor's "The First Commandment" - and we put in inside the casket with him. Also, because he loved the Red Sox (Baseball), my brother Doug and Wife Sue had their young sons Brian and Scotty (5 and 4) sign "I love you Papa" on a baseball, which they also put in the casket).
When my younger brother Doug and I were kids, Dad would take us with him every Saturday to do errands, and stop at a local drugstore to buy us superhero comic books. Mom hated for us to keep bringing them home, so Dad had us roll them up in our sleeves and walk in the house- we'd promptly disappear into the bedroom and Doug and I would read them together.
My Dad loved to write. Since I left Massachusetts to live in other states, Dad has written me, and I've kept every letter. Those are priceless to me. Dad inspired me to write and now I make a living doing it.
Dad was extremely well known throughout New England in the insurance industry. He worked in it for about 50 years, and even taught classes. Despite his being "retired" he still loved working part time. In fact, last week, an insurance company called and asked him to work for them part time. This week, the last week of his life on Earth, he worked 4 out of 5 days. That was Dad. Great work ethic.
When I came out to mom and dad, it was my dad that kept talking to me, while my mom refused for 5 months. My dad didn't understand it, but said it wouldn't stop him from talking to me. I'll never forget that. Everytime I talked to Dad or Mom, I would always tell them I love them before I got off the phone. That's the way I was raised, and It's very important to do that with everyone in your life.
My dad's spirit may have left his physical body behind, but he lives in the hearts and minds of those who love him.
Oddly enough, I'm writing a book about ghosts and spirits, because I've had so many encounters with them. I know that when a spirit leaves its body they linger until the funeral then pass into the light, so my Dad is watching over my mother right now. I expect to "hear" from dad, too. Right now, though, I'm just numb. I love my dad with all of my heart, and was blessed to have him as long as I had. He had a heart attack in 1990, when I lived in New Hampshire and we thought we'd lose him. We didn't. We've enjoyed my dad for another 18 years, and that is a gift. I thank God for all the extra time we've had, and I'm writing this to let my dad know just how much I truly loved him. I'll miss hearing your voice, Dad, but you're always going to be in my heart and soul. I love you. - Rob
Donations may be made in the name of Edward Joseph Gutro to the American Heart Association.
{NEW NOTE: At the end of my reading this blog aloud at the funeral home, I also read the last letter Dad wrote to me, dated June 18, 2008, about my older brother Stephen's upcoming 50th birthday party. The party was held in July, and I flew in and out for it. - I think that Dad was waiting for that party to have everyone there, so he could pass in peace}.
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