My (Rob) mother passed just before 2014 started, but I came to terms with it quickly because she lived a good life and added so much to my life - as does anyone you love who passed, no matter how young or old they are. Grieving is a natural part of physical loss, but we need to remember those who passed in our hearts, minds and deeds.
Instead of self-pity and wallowing in grief- Go out and do good things in their memory: like donating to a rescue, helping someone pay for groceries, cook someone a meal, visit someone in a nursing home, bring a hot cup of coffee to someone working outside... and do it in memory of someone.
No matter what the challenges, life is a gift. Appreciate the people in your life now, and discard the negative influences.That can be difficult, though, when the negative people are family members- but those family members need to be ignored. If it is a parent who foolishly "hates" a son because he was born gay, the son needs to ignore the parent until they come to their senses. If you deal with mentally ill relatives, after encouraging help - and they don't get it, leave them alone.
Care for yourself. There is only one you, and YOU affect those around you. Don't wallow in grief, don't cry over what you don't have, but focus on what you do have. Life and every year will never be perfect. To think otherwise is to fool yourself.
Appreciate the simple things: a hot coffee on a cold day, a smile from a stranger, a green light while driving, a short check out line at the store, a good book or call from a friend. Hug a dog or cat today. Look at the blue sky, sing to your favorite song. Call a friend. Surprise someone with something homemade- like brownies or a card.
We wish you all a year of happiness and health in 2015 and if you don't have both or either, focus on what you do have, and enjoy every day.
Love, Rob and Tom
