DEAR AMY: My live-in boyfriend of five years has recently rekindled a friendship with a girl he knew in grade school. Twice in the last week he has invited her to our home to play pool, have a lot of drinks and soak in our hot tub. He
hasn't shared his plans to have her over until the last minute as I was
leaving work; at that point he then extended the invite for me to join
them.
I feel as if I'm in second place to him hanging out with another female in our home. I speak my mind about how it makes me feel, and the situation gets spun as if I'm crazy. He then won't speak to me for the rest of the night. Sometimes he spins some negativity back on me so that he can be upset with me on something that is off topic.
As they spend hours hanging out, laughing, drinking, playing pool, soaking in our hot tub until past midnight, I'm sitting in my room boiling under the surface. I'm upset and sad that he doesn't comfort me as they're having a blast. She has a boyfriend, and my boyfriend reassures me they would never cross the line and become intimate. I trust that.
I try to speak to him, but most of the time he has had a few drinks, or he is drinking with his friends and insults me, or he shuts me down and dismisses my feelings. Should I give him space to be with her? Am I an idiot? I cannot speak to him rationally about this because he loses his composure and it escalates. I feel alone. — Lonely Girlfriend
I feel as if I'm in second place to him hanging out with another female in our home. I speak my mind about how it makes me feel, and the situation gets spun as if I'm crazy. He then won't speak to me for the rest of the night. Sometimes he spins some negativity back on me so that he can be upset with me on something that is off topic.
As they spend hours hanging out, laughing, drinking, playing pool, soaking in our hot tub until past midnight, I'm sitting in my room boiling under the surface. I'm upset and sad that he doesn't comfort me as they're having a blast. She has a boyfriend, and my boyfriend reassures me they would never cross the line and become intimate. I trust that.
I try to speak to him, but most of the time he has had a few drinks, or he is drinking with his friends and insults me, or he shuts me down and dismisses my feelings. Should I give him space to be with her? Am I an idiot? I cannot speak to him rationally about this because he loses his composure and it escalates. I feel alone. — Lonely Girlfriend
Our answer is: Get the heck OUT of that ridiculous relationship, girl. If you do stay in it, yes, you are an idiot. You deserve better. - Rob
