How did I spend 36 minutes of lunchtime today? Talking to Maryland State Delegate Emmett Burns, Jr. (D-Baltimore County) on the phone. He has introduced legislation (House Bill 90) to invalidate marriages between same-sex couples validly entered into in another state (like the one we have) or in a foreign country, declaring that "marriages between individuals of the same sex are against the public policy of the State." The bill was referred to the Judiciary Committee.
Burns' bill basically means that even though there is longstanding legal precedent in Maryland that couples who have been legally married in another state should be treated as fully married, LGBT couples would continue to be an exception, thereby creating yet another area of law in which we are discriminated against.
I had a civil conversation with Delegate Burns who kept telling me that I have issues with Maryland's current law against permitting gay marriage (of course I do). I told him we're fighting for equal rights under the law.
Although he told he has "a few gay friends" I find that rather hard to believe. I likened the equal rights for gay people to African Americans, of which he said that there is "no similarity." His argument was that "gay people can hide but black men can't hide their blackness." That made no sense to me. Further, he tossed out "Sodom and Gomorrah" from the Bible, which was in fact, a sin of inhospitality (read your Bible). I told him this is not a religious issue, but a civil one.
He did pause when I told him that growing up in the 1960s, 70s and 80s gay people had to hide who they were, because they were fired from jobs, beaten or even killed (It's all still happening today). He didn't know that. I told him I worked for a company in New England where 3 hateful women kept trying to "out" me and get me fired, although it was none of their business (and I didn't even date then!).
He ended the conversation by asking, "So, who makes all the decisions in the house? Who is in the man's role?" I told him in our relationship we make decisions together. He said "Someone MUST say "No!" and I told him if one person is uncomfortable with anything, then we skip it. He didn't seem to get that mutual respect thing, as he said that he is the man of his house. It's the "old school" Bible train of thought. Sigh.
He also brought up "what's next... legalizing marriage to my sister, or how about a horse? Should that be legal?" I told him royalty already tried the inbreeding thing and it caused a lot of health issues. Marrying an animal is just ridiculous, but that's the mind set of anti-gay marriage proponents.
He brought up the "between man and woman" and God issue. I told him marriage is a civil right, and straight people do it outside of churches, just as gay people should. That didn't move him either.
At the end of the conversation, I told him that gay people don't "choose" to be gay. He thought gay people chose to be gay. I told him when I was a kid I knew it, and I prayed and prayed not to be- but we are who we are. I'm proud of who I am become today. I left him with a suggestion that he look up what the American Psychological Society says about gay people, that it is NOT a choice. I asked him "would you choose to endure being hated and discriminated against when you have a choice?" His answer was, "I was discriminated against." So, I guess if he had to endure it, so should others.
He said, "So, it's all about getting the benefits, then?" Yes it is. The same benefits that he and his wife get. We all deserve the same equal treatment.
You can send him a note here, he was pretty civil, although we totally disagree:
http://www.msa.md.gov/msa/mdmanual/06hse/html/msa12194.html
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