An Idiot Menagerie of the Week: Alligators, ATM Thieves, Stabbing over Food, Exposure

Since there are so many idiots, and this time, none of them are political or religious. But there a lot of those waiting in the wings. These happen to all be from Maryland, not that the state has the corner on Idiots. I've batched these idiots up for your entertainment.

Live Alligators Confiscated From MD Apartment

Two live alligators were confiscated from a Hyattsville, Maryland apartment after the MD Natural Resources received tips about the animals. A 28-year-old Washington, D.C., man was charged with illegal importation and possession of two live American alligators. Both creatures were seized by natural resources police officers and relocated to wildlife education centers. The man faces up to $2,000 in fines if convicted.

Man Exposing Himself At Intersection Charged with Indecent Exposure

A man who reportedly exposed himself at an intersection has been charged with indecent exposure, police reported. A 67-year-old Columbia man was arrested and charged after police said he exposed himself to multiple victims.   **NOTE: The article didn't say anything about dementia, so perhaps that was the issue. If that's the case, it's not about an idiot, but it would instead be sad. **

Man Who Stabbed Roommate While Arguing About Food, Chores Sentenced

An Elkridge, Maryland man who stabbed his roommate during an argument about food and chores has been sentenced. Andre Maxwell Cooper admitted that on July 14, 2024, he and one of his roommates got into an argument over food and chores. He told the roommate he was going to "mess her up." He then forced his way into the victim's room and began punching and stabbing her. She was taken by their other roommate to the hospital for treatment of her injuries. Cooper has been sentenced to 30 years in prison.

ATM Robbery Suspects Who Used Jaws Of Life Face 95 Charges

Three robbery suspects who used jaws of life to break into ATMs across Prince George's County, Maryland, now face a combined 95 charges, police say. The investigation revealed the suspects targeted ATMs at businesses across the county. In five robberies, the suspects used hydraulic rescue tools, commonly called the “jaws of life,” to break into the machines and steal tens of thousands of dollars in cash. Detectives estimate that approximately $200,000 was stolen during these robberies.