Rob's Reflections on my mom-in-law's Passing

In yesterday's blog you read Tom's memorial tribute to his mom. In today's blog, you'll read my memories of mom-in-law, Ruth. I was so fortunate to have a second Mom in Tom's mom (my mom passed in 2013). Today's blog is filled with fun memories.  

(Photo: Mom and Rob at Bingo in Sept 2025)

 Tom's mom, Ruth, quickly became like a mother to me after Tom and I met. After my mom passed in 2013, I would always get on a call with Tom weekly to chat with his mom. Until 2021 when she and her husband Bob moved to South Carolina, we were fortunate that they lived just 20 minutes away from us in Maryland (before the moved). We spent every holiday together. 

Mom cooked on our first Thanksgiving together, and she asked if I knew how to cook. When I told her I did, we had every holiday thereafter at our house!! - I also remember going out to Chinese food together on many Christmas days. 

(Tom and Mom at our wedding reception in 2009)

She loved all of our dogs, Franklin, Dolly, Sprite, Tyler and Dash. Although she never met Cody in life, we did video chat with him from a distance so she got to meet Cody virtually. (Buzz passed before I knew Tom, so mom didn't know him either). Mom was famous for always bringing a bag of dog treats and handing them out like candy to our canine kids!

Some days, whenever I would have to work late, mom and bob drove to Doggy day care and picked up the dogs for us and brought them to our house. 

(Mom loved all our kids- Franklin, Dolly, Tyler and Dash- and would sometimes pick them up at daycare) 

Mom's Shopping Deals and Discounts - Mom was good at finding out where the sales were happening. Whether it was at a fast-food restaurant, Kohls department store or somewhere else, she always seemed to know about them (and we didn't until she told us). Sometimes when we called her, she would tell us how she went to Kohls with a 20% off coupon the day after it expired and tried to get the discount.  We laughed about it and told her that Kohls had a wanted poster with her name on it, that said "Wanted for trying to get a discount with expired coupons." 

(Photo: Bob, Mom, Tom and Rob at Red Robin after the infamous dual colonoscopy day) 

You would never think that the event of a colonoscopy would be one you'd fondly remember, but it happened! But it wasn't the event, it was the lunch afterward that was memorable. Mom and Bob drove to our house (20 mins from theirs) picked us up and drove us to our procedure (yes, we both had them done at the same time). The memorable part was lunch afterward, as they took us to Red Robin for burgers and endless fries (as we were famished). I think Tom and I re-ordered fries twice!

(Photo: Bob and Rob during a visit in South Carolina)

When Mom and Bob moved to South Carolina, Tom and I helped them clean out their townhouse, donate stuff, and sell stuff off. It was about a 2 week process, and we were there every day. It was a lot of downsizing from a three floor townhouse to a two bedroom apartment in an assisted living facility.

Sometimes we accompanied mom and Bob to Bingo, too, whether in Maryland or South Carolina. 

Mom had all the daubers, and everything you needed. The last time I went to Bingo with mom was in September 2025, when I had last visited (I tried to visit in December, but black ice prevented us from reaching the airport on time). Tom's sister and brother in law, Greg found a bingo place about 20 minutes north of their house, so we all went. I won the last game of the night (with 2 others), so I split the winnings among all of us, so everyone won. It was a great memory.

When it came to board games, Mom loved them! Although as she got older, she claimed she didn't realize what she was doing, but we think there was a little intentional cheating! haha. Like when playing Uno, she would put a Green 4 on a Yellow 8. You have to match color and number... and she would tell us it "looked green." :) 

I will miss calling mom every wednesday on New Comic book day. That's when Tom and I would take the dogs in the pickup truck and drive to the comics shop. Afterward, we would stop for Dunkin' sandwich, coffee and iced tea and call mom. 

(Photo: Tom, Rob and Mom) 

During her last year, when she went on hospice, I tried to send her a post card every week. There's nothing like getting a "Hello" through the mail, and it isn't a bill. When I flew down last week to assist Tom's sister Lisa with things after mom's passing, Lisa gave me the stack of postcards I sent Mom as a keepsake. 

The world is a lot emptier for Tom, Lisa and me. But the fun memories will always be there. In fact, she already gave me two signs she's around - one was a waterfall and the other was a little white rabbit. But that's a story for tomorrow's blog. 

Love you, Mom! 

Rob